the return of Kimothy, still makes me leery...

...among other things. So yeah, she showed up again last nite, while we were looking for *interesting* people on Hot or Not -- it took this website to destroy my addiction to the deaf, dumb, & blonde girl.

Most of my day was scheduled out yesterday. First, we met with Karen for budget at McRonald's & split a couple cinnamon rolls, then I had LAC, but did have some free time before Car-girl came over, spent that with some babe-a-licious fem-bot who had me ad her on MSN, then turned around & introduced me to a website that rang a security alert.

After Car-girl brought Trish home OK, Kim chose to Kum. I'm not entirely clear as to why Kim got rejected, but the woman raises so much anxiety for Trish that it's not worth it.

We took our film in, to be developed, & 'Nonah came over when we were loading the images into the computer; wrong house, apparently looking for L. to get thoroughly descoobied.

When we were finishing up with the images, Christi started a chat session up to 10:30, following all the pop I had at Kame-Apart -- got a new wallet there -- kept us both up until midnight.

Now, all I gotta do is upload the new pics to Hot or Not, & pass along several to diverse g/f's. It may be a little "liberal", but I'm no longer hooked on Kim. Hopefully, eventually she'll get the idea. Made me manic last time she Kame over.

terminal addicts of the orgasm-death

...yeah, & some idiot Critter informed me that "no one would take a drug called 'Death'," in spite of the fact that there's a Philip K. Fantasy at the theaters now, inspired by A Scanner Darkly, where the dope-addicted characters take a drug called "Substance Death"; communion with all that is unholy -- gonna hit Crack City! (Now U-boat is a different matter.)

Reminds me of the Critter who told me I couldn't use the term "philosopher's stone, 'cause it's in a Harry Potter book". Yeah, & when it's published, Noc-Lar will blow all that away, perhaps not with popularity (J.K. Rawlings is worth 1.5 billion), but establishing a new generation of fantasies that would transcend what the average person knows about alchemy. I'm thinking of making a career out of adaptations of Canterbury Tales -- which would be a hot series of books, no matter what David Dalglish may tell you.

Yesterday I wasted most of my coveted writing time with a chick on webcam. & when Trish came home from work, 3 women at once.

The only other thing of importance that happened is that Leo brought in a new dishwasher, & carried it with Bryan into the kitchen. Fred is supposed to come in sometime today, in order to take it out of the box & hook it up.

& oh yeah, we phoned Trish's dad before she called for the taxi. He seemed all around amicable & didn't have to ask Trish to stop mumbling too many times.

Then, since Trish got horny over the girly-girls & boy-chicks on the web, we made out until bedtime.

& also, the weather here has cooled down & it's been raining.

Deary diary, what a day it's been...

...it's been just like a dream...

...sleep has become much more restful for Trish & I both, now that we have a new bed. It took over 300 buckadingdongs, as we had to pay a delivery fee, but with the combination of a firmer mattress & the changes in my pharmacopoeia, I've been able to sleep until 7:00, most days.

However, this morning a brief power surge managed to shut off the alarm clock, telephone ("to receive set-up instructions..."), & clicked the printer on & off. Having been awake anyway, I got Trish up to take her pill, then sent her back to bed.

Then, while I worked on the computer, the whole house went dark. Waking to a purple sky & rain, we did manage to eat a bowl of Cheeri-o's & a bagel.

I went over to the new neighbors to see if the power had gone off there, too, but no one answered my knocking. Then, just when we were planning to run over to McClean's & use the phone there to call the power company, everything turned on.

Fred came over yesterday, while I did several different renditions of Crystal Ship. After supper we watched the season finale of Battlestar Galactica, which we'd recorded Sunday night. What a cliffhanger! & no new episodes until 08! Can we really wait that long?

famous for 20 minutes (give or take 5)

I see I've neglected my blog over the last couple days. Today it's the day to read sciencenews.org, as Trish & I both woke up with the alarm. Yesterday Trish expressed extreme disappointment over having to work today (Sunday), as it stresses her out when she has to work for 6 days in a row. I don't feel this way, myself, though: extra time for "Galaxies", or whatever title it gets in the end. Plus a chance to work on Crystal Ship -- sail the darkened seas, &c.

Yesterday, Trish slacked off from doing chores in the AM (goodie!). After we ate at the soup kitchen, frantic mania tore us apart, like love -- again, & there's a taste in my mouth when desperation takes hold.

We did a lot of running around yesterday: Albertson's, for groceries, drugstore for drugs, pet shop boy for bedding & hamster food, & buckadingdong store for ladies' shavers. All in all, we spent 50 buckadingdongs just with this.

Then at suppertime Trish threw a temper tantrum over me cooking the chicken helper in the frying pan, why can't you use the casserole pan? & why did you snitch a salad while I wasn't looking? promise you won't be like Bryan & eat just 'cause you're bored, & I don't like what the Depakote is doing to you -- you had a yogurt & a muffin before dinner...

--Yeah, & if you didn't want me to have junk food, why'd you pick up so much of it at te soup kitchen?

So she spent the afternoon trying to curl her hair, & feeling dejected about it, 'cause she couldn't get kinky, then got kinky, put on all her makeup, got into her naughty nightie, & posed seductively for Hot or Not.

She watched her Britney while I surfed for live contacts, finally found one, also into 3sum, but not unwilling to try a 4sum -- but no more.

I took a Viagra about the time we had her really going good, but for some reason still had problems achieving an orgasm. I'm pretty well over my manic peak, save for the hypersexuality, so I think I could do without the Risperdal, which is doing this.

Well, it's been a little over 20 minutes, so I must awaken the Beautiful Bumble Bee Girl...

dreaming of Biggie

Last nite I dreamed that the Biggolith rang the doorbell; entered, clearly hurt; coughing, gasping...

--David, what happened? Did Karen leave you?

--No, she's OK -- but she's in a cage...

That occurred last nite, whereas yesterday the highlight was the guys from Valley Furniture moving the new bed in -- 1:30; 2:00, Trish called: she'd gotten off work early, she'd had help. Apparently, Michael, the revenge of Kimothy, had kicked in some spare time & threw himself into a frenzy aiding her.

She walked home -- beautiful day for it -- & arrived about the time I was working on the first sex scene in TC. I'd made the character "tougher", to compensate for her overwhelming obsession of a prior draft, but both drafts are beginning to look like the sex is obviated, & the "drug scene" (like, yeah, it's weed -- omigod, they're doing drugs! quoth flying_fruitbat@aol.com) is starting to look more like an excuse for the author to expound on his personal beliefs, no matter what the status of "drugs" in the future, that I'm not entirely certain how to handle it, even with the Cowboys on Acid -- which Gardner would've loved; he's gone, alas!

Trish took a shower shortly after she returned from work, & relaxed for awhile, before starting her cleaning chores. We had chicken thighs last nite, Trish's favorite: dark meat.

The cleaning frenzy lasted until about 7:00, which is in the approximate time-frame we asked Chelsea to call. She did send us some hot pics, & otherwise sounded interested.

We finally had some free time together to surf Hot or Not. Trish is becoming really excited about the prospect of being Person of the Week, & is constantly coming up with new makeup & lingerie poses for the position... assuming that she gets it.

The new bed is a lot firmer than the old one, & I slept soundly all nite long. Trish didn't hog the bed, either. She's still sleeping, after I got up with the alarm at 7:00, & shortly I'll begin on the pancakes.

There was one a woman on the web when I checked, but I couldn't respond -- this is all for Trish. If she's still there, I'll simply tell her we gotta get Champions of Breakfast.

polyglot memories

Yesterday Trish & I peregrinated to the City of Electric Light, for her to get a 2nd opinion on her hearing -- everything's OK, though she's loathe (& fearful) to admit it. She likes being sick & taking progressively larger doses of medication.

So Karen drove up a little early, & we went Reuben down the highway, so Trish could get her hair done by some 19 year old girl named 'Licia. The dye-job is real atomic. We also went to Sam Goody's & picked up some new pornos. Friday, Trish wants to see about getting a subscription to Playboy.

Chelsea on the Internet is definitely interested in Trish -- which we found out after a trip to El Taco Loco, Trish was still hungry after take-out at John's Tacos & Karen handed me the wrong bag.

Woke up with the alarm today. Looks like the fantastically expensive medicine is working for me.

Got a little letter from Lucinda the other day...

...hi, Lucy, did you ever suspect that your college friend would mutate into what exists now?

Guys from the furniture store are supposed to be here around 1:30. This gives me little time to be creative -- & I spent some of it sending Chelsea & Val-gal pics. & Sarah just clicked on the site.

Bi-bi, journal, & bj

Julie in the Streetcar with the Two

...Sunday began like usual for one of Trish's days off: breakfast of cereal; drinking coffee all morning.

Come noontime, I decided to treat Trish to a real atomic submarine sandwich. Unfortunately, the wind was cold, so I evoked the Thrill of it All, & we ate at PJ's, a long-time date-nite fantasy on Trish's part. The sandwiches came to reasonable, but the cheesecake was way too expensive: we wound up paying 20 buckadingdongs just for a couple sandwiches & some delicious, but greasy, homemade fries.

After lunch we watched the rest of season 2.0, until I cooked some chicken -- Trish turned into Cranky Bear, when following a trip to the bathroom, Trish realized she may've been going thru her period, & menopause.

So together we surfed the darkened seas. Had a long chat with Julie, who's a real live wire -- but 2 gurls we wrote notes to deleted their matches, I saw this morning. Pulled a Maxine.

Today I'll return to work on TC. I haven't heard from Ted on the subject, am now myself wondering if the sex-&-drugs scene is really warranted by the plot. By the very idea: can this be rewritten into occurring on, say, a real atomic submarine? The central element should be the TC & how the humans respond to them, rather than, come on girl, bite my wire! I'll have to work on the control room scene some, too, like -- why do they even need one, when everything is routed thru the AI?

This & many other things remain on the mind of the true Rootboy, among them also catching up on my FTP before returning to work on Noc-Lar. Come forth, Ula-tek! I command it!

unexpected day off

...after fixing Trish her normal, sumptuous breakfast of pancakes, she walked to work -- but Say Bra had rescheduled her days off; Trish has to put in extra hours 'cause of her vacation coming up.

After she walked all the way home, complete with luncheon sandwich from IGA, she wanted to nap. I surfed the darkening seas; no real luck until just before lunchtime; whoever it was, got off there fast, so instead we wrote notes & messages before Trish tackled her deli-thingy & I my beans on toast. Trish got a little toasted at the accident, but is definitely beyond the point where I'd been forced into separation.

I worked some more on TC, striving to develop the alien scenes. It might be just what Stan's looking for; all I ever get out of F&SF is a form with my name typed into it.

Trish performed a modicum of cleaning, then we set out to watch Battlestar Galactica -- Trish picked up season 2.0 at the Invisible vid-store on Friday.

After supper -- leftover chow mein which I took out of the deep freeze the day before -- I surfed Hot or Not for a bit, came up with the ideal woman -- & she left us after we didn't start to cyber soon enough. Like pulling a Maxine, one must be careful not to boot their partners out of bed & put one's clothing back on: she flies so high, she swoops so low...

...Kimothy Leery has been perpetually blasted into outer space; some form of detritus. Though it'd be a faster way to fix the problem than chatting with people you'll never meet.

I slept all nite. Beat the alarm clock by about 1/2 hour, then started my standard Internet stuff. As you can see, save for hypomanic hypersexuality, I've returned to NORML.

Now all I need is some of that medical marijuana. If the Hinchey-Rohrabacher amendment ever makes it thru the House -- the lunatic is on the grass...

fast mover soft machine...

...my Soft Machine flirts with other guys. S'okay with me: for awhile, there was Kimothy, a direct threat to our relationship. An indirect threat, like having fuzzy feelings for Michael or Say Bra (too much! the magic bust!) at work is a different story: they remain as fantasies; Michael is married (yeah, but again, there are a lot of extramarital affairs) & Say Bra is the boss & wouldn't appreciate Trish in her gay apparel.

It's the Ho or No lesbians who are/aren't a threat. If she's bi, I do want Trish to buy a membership there, as other women are totally non-threatening -- to me, not to her: bi-gals in 3sums sometimes interfere on the hetero side. This is precisely what happened with Kimothy. Plus, she bites. From the standpoint of bj, I can attest to this.

Yesterday, it having snowed last night, after our breakfast of pancakes, I walked to Invisible Optometric to have my eyes examined. Need a new lens, as the Seroquel has changed my vision. The pressures are both fine.

I split for the Perky Pam Layout, to give Karen the bill for the tile job. 80 buckadingdongs. She took me around to the bank, in order to cash my $35 spending cash check, then to pick up our airline tickets.

Once home, I resumed work on TC, with occasional forays into Hot or Not or YM -- since I didn't expect Trish to be off work until at least 2:30. I logged on to a place of many Vadisystems & Jillongs. when a few minutes later, I heard the sound of the key: Trish. Say Bra had helped with the dishes, as well as the day had been dead.

She left for the Invisible 7-11, while I entered a conversation with one Nicky that lasted until about 5:00. After supper -- Chicken Helper -- I once more surfed the darkened seas, writing an email to Val-gal. She's so popular.

Valerie Piranha & the naughty nightie

Wednesday afternoon, same old same old: I finally finished reading Mark's novel, for Critters credit. I noted that it should be split into multiple works, as especially at the end it simply looks like the beginning of another story.

Bumble Bee Girl caught a ride home from one of the drivers. She surprised me when the key turned in the door; I'd been surfing Hot or Not for more gay ladies -- Maxine has now been burned out of my mind; tell me, hell, who can sleep in these sleepless nights?

Well, me, for one thing: yesterday I got out of bed around 6:00, today, 6:20. The Seroquel is working, but if the insurance company could do what it would, I'd be off the atypicals altogether.

I made tuna noodle casserole for supper, seeing as how I hadn't taken any meat out of the fridge to thaw. Tonite we're having Chicken Helper. Fred helped drag the garbage left behind by the flooring guy to the back alley, then Trish did her chores, including the dread hamster cage. I called Hope while Trish worked in the kitchen.

Then followed cyber with a cute bi-girl & the naughty nightie, a multi-star member. She asked for our number, promised us phone sex, then didn't call. I tried the Internet again, online but not on chat, asked for chat, she disappeared -- this led to acute exacerbations of VADIS, which went on until 11:00.

She's such a pretty girl, lover of Buffy, but -- is she about to pull a Maxine? The strategy we're employing now is to take pics of Trish in nightie & makeup, so we can *entice* Valerie by emailing them to her. Also putting better ones on the web. I also discovered that you can sign up for Ho or No with a money order. That should be real atomic. Like her blowjobs. Point is, she wants a bi-lover, Kim she's rejected (why?), so we're searching for something new. I just don't want to scare the girl, hence, holding off on communication, unless she contacts us first, & she seems to think that Trish is a lustrous lady of a sacred world.

Tara!

Tara!

Maxine, why you do your girlfriend mean?

Lovely pic, posted less than a week, it drew in Maxine -- until the relationship became an abortion: last nite, when Trish & I logged in to LiveChat, her pic immediately disappeared.

This caused both of us feelings of savage dread. It was a dark day yesterday, but at least I did a lot of writing, while the guy from Sherwin-Williams put in the new floor in the kitchen.

Once he finished, we went to El Taco Loco for a couple of Crazy Tacos. While Trish was showering, I worked on Crystal Ship once more.

Then there was the abortion.

We both died inside.

girly-girls

At least she doesn't go for the really butch ones, so the idea of Trish seducing a real live bi femme or lesbian conflict with my own taste in women, my predilection for Vadisystems aside. We did spend some more time on the Internet scoping out gay women on the Hot or Not page. Before that, Karen took us to Wal-Mart to do some shopping, then Trish rather obsessively cleaned the afternoon away.

Trish decided to have a Buffy marathon again -- I think Willow stole her heart -- then, when we checked out Maxine, she dropped out on us. It might've been the message I sent her. We are now going to wait awhile, & let Trish explore the relationship in her own way. Same for the Lez we picked up over-nite; she's a foxy lady.

Even though I'm doing all this stuff on the computer, I'll be glad when the mania dies & I can return to work on TC.

In the meanwhile, I guess it's OK to while my time away, desperately seeking bi-femmes who are not for myself.

They are for my Muse, who sleeps sweetly as I write this. A few more clicks on chicks, & then it's champions of breakfast.

hot or not child in Invisible City

Sunday exemplified everything that a Sunday should be, for one of Trish 's days off, save for the jet-lag of newly reset clocks, from daylight savings time. After another sleepless nighttime, I started to surf the darkened seas for the hot, found Maxine online & chatting while Trish fixed blueberry muffins. I talked with her until it veered into BDSM cyber. She's promised to call about 10:00, let's just see if she does.

Trish bought some more makeup at Albertson's, much of its business siphoned away by Wal-Mart.

She rented Pirates of the Caribbean II at the Invisible Record Store, which I started to watch after a spaghetti dinner. I fell asleep in my chair, so when it had nearly finished, I surfed the ho or no page & came up with a ho: it's not that she's not pretty, it's that she's only 18, bet you know the trash I mean.

Fortunately, we didn't give her our address. We will reserve that for Maxine & Barb -- if they're serious.

Bi-bi for now, whoever is actually reading this.

bi-bi love, bi-bi hap-penis

So Friday the sale of Trish's car was finalized, so we now have 500 buckadingdongs to play around with -- Monte arrived at 4:20 with the title; it had to be notarized, & here I was looking for lesbians on Hot or Not. The instant that the doorbell rang, I killed the screen -- online all day, he couldn't get thru (dial up), so he drove his brand newly owned batmobile over to the courthouse, along with the beautiful Bumble Bee Girl.

Trish had contacted Fred earlier, about going up to the Invisible Mall, to pick up some racy lingerie, while I went to the dollar store -- it's closing, everything 77 cents, having come down from 88 the week before.

Then Saturday, while Trish was at work, surfing the darkened seas, I found a bi-babe... wanting... needing...

She's a sub, wants -- well, whiplash girl-child in the dark, except she wants us to be her masters, so I guess Trish could be Venus in (psychedelic) furs, Mistress of the Damned, if only she could cake on enough dark makeup.

I eventually had to break up the contact with Maxine -- lunch, with the possibility of getting naked. Homosexuality is the all-around cover for an Interzone agent. Next thing you know, I'll be dealing with a talking typewriter.

Then I spent awhile working on the latest re-make/re-model of "Silence", now tentatively called "Galaxies Controlling Fate From Thousands of Light-Years Ahead". It may not be good Dick, but it's good.

Trish arrived around 4:20, having stopped at IGA for some makeup -- they didn't have, but referred her to the dollar store downtown.

In the interest of showing Trish the fantastically beautiful Maxine (& her friend Barb), I wandered over to her profile, found her on Live Chat -- she wants to transcend Kimothy, having become a little Leery of her attempts to seduce me while Trish was working.

Trish took a nap until 5:30. Once she woke up, we cooked the sausage from the food bank, then Trish dressed up seductively for date night. When I turned the computer back on, she'd left a message: "Monda(y) ok". We are both thrilled -- but then, stuck with unfinished laundry, a mini-curling iron that didn't yield the benefits she wanted, & with made-up eyes (truly feminine) became perturbed: she wanted to watch Shania Twain, there wouldn't be time, she invested money -- admittedly, a small amount -- whatever, it's probably just the unease anyone feels with new people in their lives.

I finally told her, skip the laundry until morning, seduce me.

She modeled the lingerie for me: red boobs to complement the remaining darkness. After a Viagra,& after we were most of the way thru, I had a sufficient woody for her to blow -- plus diverse other hot nasties.

Is this real? or just a hypersexual symptom? Will it freak Trish out, the way it made her Leery of Kimothy? & what about the prospect of sex with 3 women? isn't this the ultimate blow to the denizens of Alfalfa High & their minions?

It promises an interesting time ahead, I can tell.

sleep comes down

At last! Today I woke up with the alarm! A full night's sleep, all due to mood stabilizers & antipsychotics & FUCK SCIENTOLOGY!

Turning to other matters, yesterday I didn't sleep like I did today -- caught Vangie on her webcam, but had to fix brecchie, so another "almost, but not quite". Put a photo of Trish on Hot or Not, with a profile stating exactly what she wants. Women seem wicked when you're a woman! (quoth the Doors.)

TA with Car-girl took us out to Wally World to fetch some generic Mr. Fruity. Then we had to split 'cause we had to check out stereos. Found one for $209, 100 watts/channel in up to 7 channels. Following this, we went to Pizza Hut to eat a salad bar & drink more Mr. Fruity.

Monte came over close to 4:00 to look at the batmobile. He wants it, so this afternoon we'll have an extra 500 buckadingdongs. Some for the stereo, but Trish also intends to buy clothes -- including sexy lingerie.

So she cleaned all nite after supper, then we watched Heavenly Hooters, non-Viagra-fied but nonetheless stimulating.

Got up 2 times to go to the bathroom, but did sleep in until the alarm went off!

So the only problem is, if I'm going to bed normal, what's to be done with all the slim-chick Filipinas late at nite?

Oh well. I could stand to be without them, like Kimothy Leery.

a long, strange trip

...from Invisible to Electric (Cities, that is). (Noncorean never figured it out: Nite City is a place; the City of Night is a symbol. Bi-bi, Colleen -- not to mention the Perky Pam Layout -- Layout ungrateful, or at least Cheri.)

See the light-show, take the trip: yes, from Invisible to Electric, & back again: yesterday, we got Trish up "early", after another sleepless nite. I returned to bed about 5:00-6:00, then slept until both alarms went off.

All we had for brecchie (Naked Breakfast) was muffins & instant oatmeal, then about 9:00 heard a honking: Karen (the Kaseworker). Too much! The magic van! We soon were Reuben down the highway like some exotic sandwich, without wings, without wheels.

We had a lot of errands. Elena needed her haircut (6 buckadingdongs in Electric), then we went shopping at the Electric Wally World for a bit before our appointments with Doc Larocque, the Electric psychiatrist.

I wanted to terminate the Orgasm Death because of the sexual side-effects -- heightened also because of the Jim/Kim/Trish thing. (We told Kim bye & she responded with bi.) It was not to be: being at least hypomanic, babbling at incredible superspeed, Reuben mentally, she spotted it for what it was, & changed everything else I am on: more Seroquel; more Artane; more Depakote; less Abilify: the wonder drug can cause insomnia in its own right.

Trish's adjustments were simpler: up the Lamictal.
We ate lunch in some Chinese place. I had veggie delight & Trish had pork something. & then we had to split, to take Bryan to his skin surgeon, from where he lost the weight.

Following that, we took the Beautiful Bumble Bee Girl to where Elena had just had hers cut. In the meantime, we went to the Village mall, where I picked up a Shania Twain DVD Trish wanted -- then ran into a very rude Radio Shaft employee: when I asked about surround sound receivers, she pointed out some dipshit box that included speakers. When I did find a box that interested me, she rudely refused to answer my questions. Like, "I don't know what a ProLogic is" (stupid bit-cuh), then walked away, saying, "I'd have to pull up the specs for that" ("because I'm lazy"), so I resolved to go to the Sound Pro. Good equipment, inflated prices. At least the guy there knew some electronics, though the equipment was pricey.

Finally, we walked like a car (engine options) to Invisible City. Too tired to cook, we broke out the potato chips, cheese dip, & a couple of sandwiches. We watched Heavenly Hooters, where Trish explored the dark side of the source: I promised to put a Hot or Not profile for her today. It's hard to find someone in Invisible...

...mostly they just say bi-bi in the bars.

Bi-bi, blog. See you again tomorrow.

sex will tear us apart...

...again!

Is it joy or division?

Jesus said, Oh man, who among you has made of me a divider? Am I then a divider?

So where does the division take place? Deep inside the Godhead itself, where it occurred as an abortion & was cast beyond the Limit. Eternal damnation, beyond Lucifer... Lucifer: planet or spirit? His scion Nekbael wraps her dark legs around me & kisses me, seduces me, lover ungrateful. But yet there is forgiveness.

Night surrounds me... during the day, yesterday, Car-girl & I went out to pick up some commodities from the Food Bank. She threw her back out of place, perhaps lifting a heavy box, canceled Wal-Mart until next week. I came home, took a bath, then surfed the darkened seas, hot/not like the fire & ice that created them.

I switched the machine off around 2:30, when Karen called, asking about calling Medicaid Transport for our trip to the City Electric, to have our heads examined. (My eyes are already excited.) Awhile later, as I continued to re-make/re-model TC, in my own words at this time, Trish finally called, about 1/4 after 2:00. She had to train some new guy.

We went shopping hungry, & she spent 1/6 of the food stamp card on cheese -- basic food group? OK.

I surfed Ho or No for a bit, talked to some teenage kid, very precocious. I fixed some vegetarian stir-fry for supper, winged it with no recipe.

We cleaned Ula-Tek's cage, then put on a porno-vid to make out to.

The blowjob was real atomic.

Apocalypse/annihilation.

Lucifer dead, Nekbael ascends to the throne. Divine intervention affects the salvation of all, of the All, & in the wake of her Father's passing, the whore-thing, whore no longer, ascends into heaven.

& so it goes.

Early morning man-madonna

Yeah, & I got up at 3:00 -- again. Yesterday, love/sex almost tore us apart, again. The bitter jealousy. The Philip K. Fantasy, even though I'd never leave her for the whole world. The Other is just out of reach, glowing, very Holy Grail. This all came out, the days & nights of torment, in the office of Charlene Upstairs, where we discussed bi-bi love, bi-bi happiness, & the exacerbation of VADIS, which is mutual.

But first, we went out to do budget with Karen, our Kaseworker. We left about 9:15 for the Gallery. I had toasted frog, sausage & an egg while the Bumble Bee Girl had her pancakes. We picked up a new porno at Sam Goody's (woody doody) & then gleaned over the buckadingdong store, which is now 88 cents; going out of business, you see. Also, (& even Zarathustra could believe in you), I picked up the plane tickets after we dropped Trish off at work, following a fiasco where a check was lost & we had to stop payment on it.

Once home, I watched the new porno-vid (too much! the magic bust!), then worked on "Silence" for awhile. Trish caught a ride home with one of the drivers, & we walked across to the Layout, to meet Charlene.

Trish made a very big decision: she's going to try to nullify her life.

She became emotional, so after she took an hour-long nap, I took her out to El Taco Loco. Following a couple of Crazy Tacos we watched the slithy toves.

Then we went to bed because we had no time to waste.

The days are bright & filled with pain...

...the time you ran was too insane, we'll meet again in some kind of post-death hallucinatory experience, the Bardo of Dick & dead Tibetans.

Yes, the days are bright... so are the nights: (early morning rising): the biochemical imbalance has not yet been controlled by the Seroquel. I shudder to think what would've happened had I continued with temazepam. Yesterday I woke up extremely early, 3:00/4:00, but as usual for mania, spent the time looking at Hot or Not, to see if I could find anyone to talk to.

This behavior continued on into the afternoon, while Trish read & watched Britney. Indeed, the teen lass I discussed it with denounced Britney -- who am I to argue?

Then after supper, left over stir fry, Trish & I got into a horrible argument. It was all about diverse kinky things, & whether they should be acted out. She's substituting the D. Fantasy for Philip K. Fantasy, but the results no doubt could prove equally destructive. She wants me to come see Charlene Upstairs about it with her today.

This means the morning & afternoon are both shot. Karen is taking us out for breakfast for budget; the Layout is going to the Cantonese Kitchen for lunch. For once, I think I may use the wee-wee hours for trying to find what I already have: love is a drug, but I've made mine mellow. My girl awaits for me in tender times.

back to normal?

Will I ever be NORML again, for that matter? I used to sail the darkened seas in a great big submarine: as Timothy Leary put it, "I'm a submarine Captain; I'm always torpedoed". Were it not so pricey, I'd be the next NJWeedman.com, my cigars rasta & not regular.

Whip it on me, Jim!

It was just like Mr. E said!

But, all psychobabble aside, I think I'm finally back to normal, or at least my sleep pattern is, or at least was, last nite: I didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning. I took 4 Seroquel when I went to bed, & for the first time since I started to take it -- in spite of having the most powerful sedative effect of all antipsychotics, it took this long to kick in.

Goody! Now it's time to convince Doc Larocque that I don't need 3 antipsychotic medications; to stop the Risperdal: it shoots up to a center in my head & destroys orgasms. I've been taking Viagra, free samples, but it's still frustratingly difficult to shoot 20 feet of jissem -- or even 20 inches. Or 2, for that matter. Then Trish starts to feel inadequate & says, "I'm lousy in bed". I've got to get off this stuff. Got to search for something new.

So yesterday was a pretty typical Friday, save that Trish called from work -- I actually wasn't on Hot or Not LiveChat! I must be returning to normal! She asked if she should work Monday, that since we're going down to the Fargo of the Invisible landscape to see the psychiatrist (fuck Scientology!), Say Bra needed to know if she could work the extra day.

So in the morning, I finished another chunk of Mark's novel, which is all right. Whether or not it'll ever sell is a different matter. The competition is so fierce, it's hard to get published, & the literary standards sometimes so different than Reality that, at least for me, with some academic lit-crit studies, that I have to compromise between genre norm & what I want to do. Critters has helped in regard to salability, but not necessarily quality.

Then, in the afternoon, I reworked "Silence". I'm still stinging from Georgia March's sarcastic review. aburt, too, missed the point: I wasn't trying to create a "military parody", I was trying to write a hard science fiction story about tachyon critters -- so her conclusion was to "drop the tachyons", & it's like, screw you, bitch, that's the central element of the story; go frak yourself. If anything needs to be removed, it's the love story running in the background, romance as Ted ruined it, lust as I've resurrected it.

Today, I plan to read the latest 10K chunk, after having a look at sciencenews.org. Once I've finished that, I'm returning to the top of my mss., in order to integrate the end with the beginning, then retype the whole thing.

After that, who knows? Last nite I got onto the chat rooms, weekends being a prime time for that. But once Trish finished cleaning the kitchen, she decided to score & vorkle. A blue pill crossed my lips, & there was tits & titillation.

& God saw that it was good. A little late in cumming, but good.

& it beats the Philip K. Fantasy.

car

It looks like I may be about to acquire some new stereo equipment, for the first time since Mother sadly developed dementia. Trish is selling her batmobile, and wants to spend some of it on new equipment. That started yesterday, when we both noticed that the machine had become horribly distorted -- but what was the source of the problem? I ruled out the receiver by switching from CD to FM. At that point, I started calling stereo stores for quotes on changers. Northern doesn't have 'em; Radio Shack does, but the guy had stepped out of the store. We finally took a lens cleaner to it, voila! problem solved.

However, the amp makes funny crackling sounds once in awhile, so Trish decided that we should buy a new one. I'll be shopping around for those, too.

I've spent much of the last several days reading Mark's novel. It's OK, but a little short for the range. Yesterday, though, I worked on my own, 'cause of the Car-girl appointment. It's evolving into something better than the old mess. Georgia March to the contrary.

We picked up some more free samples of Viagra, in Car-girl's car. Trish wants to do the next hit tomorrow night. We've been experimenting with lots of new stuff, including more bizarre fantasies, which I hope don't cause us to get Leery like the Philip K. one.

I've also been spending a lot of time on Hot or Not, with the new chat feature. Unfortunately, a lot of these turn out to be webcam chicks. I had one going, teasing her, for an hour or so last nite, when I finally decided to take a peek: credit card required. Yeah, right. It's definitely a scam.

I'm still waking up early, but this morning managed not to until 5:00. We see Doc Larocque on Wednesday. I hope we can be helped some then. I really want to get my sleep schedule back to normal.